Love and Emotion

A code of conduct provides the values and behaviours expected by each of the code's adherents, both of themselves and of each other. It is also a tool to communicate to the wider community and interested parties what can be expected of the code's adherents.

My suggested code of conduct for follows of Jesus is given in 1 Corinthians 13 and sets out the agreed behaviours Jesus consistently expects from followers, no matter what daunting challenges or provocations they face.

1 Corinthians 13: 4, 5, 6, & 7;  ''Charity [love] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,  Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;  Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.''

To support the modern day spirit filled Christian's application of the above King James Version (KJV) of the ''code'' I've provided the following summary of more contemporary meanings taken from the original Greek:

• Love is patient, not short-tempered where people are concerned
• Love reacts with goodness to those who ill-treat it
• Love gives itself in kindness to the service of others
• Love does not envy, it is not displeased at the success of others
• Love does not boast
• Love is concerned to give itself, not to assert itself  in order to seek out its own advantage
• Love is not rude, indecent, disgraceful or dishonourable
• Love is not self-seeking, does not insist on its own way
• Love is not easily angered, or 'touchy'
• Love does not harbour a sense of injury; it does not record every misdemeanour to be cast up at some future time
• Love takes no joy in evil of any kind, it cannot rejoice when the truth is denied
• Love rejoices in the truth of God and the gospel
• Love protects, it does not give way easily but endures
• Love is not deceived by the pretences of any rogue, but is always ready to give the benefit of the doubt
• Love is always eager to believe the best, is not gullible, but does not automatically think the worst 
• Love refuses to take failure as final
• Love is not overwhelmed, but robustly plays its part whatever the difficulties

However, having this code just on its own without its effective application in our interacting with others renders the code totally ineffective.

One recent 'buzz' term which refers to a person's ability to effectively and positively interact with others is 'Emotional Intelligence'. 

Emotional Intelligence is basically a common sense approach as to how we effectively manage ourselves and how we manage our relationships with others.

In taking a closer look at the self management aspects of Emotional Intelligence, we must:

• be self-aware, reading our own emotions and recognising their impact upon others
• keep disruptive emotions and impulses under control
• have the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence
• display honesty, integrity and trustworthiness
• accurately assess their own strengths and weaknesses
• possess a healthy self-confidence and a sound sense of our own self-worth and capabilities
• demonstrate flexibility, adapt to changing situations and overcome obstacles
• be ready to act and seize opportunities
• be optimistic and see the positives in events

Taking a closer look at the relationship management elements of Emotional Intelligence, we must:

• possess empathy, be able to sense others' emotions, understand the perspectives of others and take an active interest in the concerns of others.
• possess an ability to recognise and meet the needs of others through a willingness to serve
• proactively invest in peoples development through guidance, mentoring, coaching and feedback
• possess the ability to read groups and organisations, understand the politics and the informal factors influential in key decision making
• be tactful but assertive in order to influence and persuade for the benefit of others and the wider good
• healthily cultivate and maintain a network of relationships
• guide, motivate and inspire through communicating a compelling vision
• judge events and situations and know when it's time to encourage others to take in a new direction
• foster cooperation, collaboration and the building or robust relationships
• act to resolve disagreement and damaging conflict in a timely manner

Using our Emotional Intelligence to effectively apply this code of conduct will guide our correct choice of behaviours and actions time after time after time.  Thus enabling us to carry out the principal command of Jesus which he has issued to us and all adherents of the 1 Corinthians 13 code throughout the ages:

John 13: 34 & 35;  ''A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.''